Every person has an inner ninja.  Most days you keep it under wraps, if only because decapitating your supervisor with his expense report is going to make everyone else in the staff meeting really uncomfortable, but you know it’s there. Its manifestation doesn’t even have to be that extreme – there’s a reason “silent but deadly” is an accurate description of both ninjas and flatulence.

Here’s a quick test to gauge your assassin quotient.

Imagine after a hard day at work you’ve just cashed your paycheck and are headed home.  Suddenly you’re faced with a man weidling a bat, demanding you hand over your earnings.  What do you do?

A) Run for help

B) Defecate, then run for help.  Probably a bit slower than you’d like.

C) Paint the walls red with his innards

If you answered (C), congratulations!:

Unfortunately this quiz was plucked from reality a couple of days ago when a homeowner was faced with exactly this situation.  However, it probably turned out to be the best day of this guy’s life.  He actually was a big fan of ninjas and had swords situated around his apartment the way some people might scatter air fresheners.  You don’t stock a home with ninja cutlery and then hope you AREN’T attacked by a vastly inferior blunt instrument.

Some of the details of what happened are sketchy, but we’ve reconstructed the incident based on the attacker’s statement to the police:

Though this is just a reenactment, it could have happened just like this

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