Guys, let me be real here. I love Twitter. How else can I make fun of little kids or get into one-sided flame wars with my mom? But fine, I get it, mostly Twitter is just a downward spiral of just how illiterate you can be and still kind of communicate, but still, when it Twitter hits, it kind of rules.

The genre has kind of come into its own with some amazing fake accounts (full disclosure, I am not immune to the allure of the fake Twitter), and because I’m in a sharing mood (and because the guys who make MegaBot reminded me of it by tweeting as a giant robot) here’re some of my fake Twitter favorites.

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The Notorious B.I.G.
This account is approached as if Biggie were still alive today, though still caught up in his early 90s ways, juxtaposed against his interactions with the current incarnations of his old Bad Boy Crew (Diddy, Lil’ Kim, I’m looking at your asses).

Recently:
   4:05 PM Sep 28th – avoiding ma$e’s calls
   10:26 AM Sep 15th – fuck my wealth manager. how you gonna tell me gateway stock aint makin shit?
   11:36 PM Sep 13th – yo, this lil mama like the scrappy doo of the VMAs.

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The Natural History Whale
Twitters from the taxidermied mind of the whale that hangs in the great hall of New York’s Museum of Natural History. He’s basically a huge, good natured, philsophical fish out of water (I KNOW A WHALE IS NOT A FISH), floating above the tourists of New York City and making weird observations.

Recently:
   1:44 PM Sep 18th – Conscious thought means I’m alive, but I have no flesh and blood. Maybe Kim Cattrall and Andrew McCarthy can explain?
   11:17 AM Aug 28th – A family from Boston dropped by– I have been deemed “quite laaahhge.”

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Guy Abducted By Aliens
Basically the adventures of a dude who’s been kidnapped by space aliens. Not terrestrial aliens, actual Space Aliens. As his bio puts it: “i was abducted by aliens and shit’s crazay but they r cool w me tweetin!”

Recently:
   1:29 PM Sep 12th – an alien just told me he thought i was charlie sheen im like “i dont look like charlie sheen at all” he’s like ‘humans all look alike to me’
   4:09 AM Aug 30th – alien movies make no fucking sense
   1:34 AM Aug 28th – bowling, totinos pizza rolls, @nbcconan, my truck, human porn. #thingsthatimissbecauseiliveinspace

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The London Bridge
A big sentient bridge talking shit about other bridges (and kind of everyone, actually), playing Poohsticks, and observing the parade of life that walks over it.

Recently:
   6:53 PM Sep 20th – @Chelsea_Bridge Blah blah blah di blah. Yeah, whatever. First a showy-offy bridge. Now a pompous old fool “sigh”

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The Mime
I’ve probably already said too much.

Recently:
   You should really see for yourself.

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So that’s what I’ve got time for, folks. I’m sure you think you have something funnier, so throw some links in comments, and we your comment money where your comment mouth is. (ED: I am not actually talking about gambling.)