I hope you guys like fighting games and celebrities kicking the living mess out of each other, because if that is the case, I have some good news for you: we made a video game you will greatly enjoy.

In between saying “sext” waaaay too many times this week, I’ve been playing this game a bunch, and I have to say, it’s fun, if incredibly difficult. And there are some messed up special moves. To help you get a handle on, you know, life, here’s a breakdown of the matchups.

David Letterman vs Sarah Palin
Back in June, when Sarah Palin was visiting New York, and David Letterman (boy, he was going to have a weird year, right?) straight up made fun of her! And she got pissed. When People Magazine calls something a war, it is definitely a war.

Perez Hilton vs Nadya Suleman (that is to say: Octomom)
Guys, Perez Hilton is mad mean, right guys? Do you remember in May when Perez said Octomom said something stupid? What nerve!

Jon Gosselin vs Kate Gosselin
It is probably unncessarily to explain this one, but Jon and Kate’s relationship has undergone the most entertaining public meltdown of 2009. From treacly reality show to public indignity after public indignity, these two have really earned their place in Celebrity Kung-Fu.

Kanye West vs Glenn Beck
Let’s be real. Lotta people are mad at Kanye. Not us. But other people. Including one Glennn Beck (the extra N is for Nice), sounding off on Kanye’s VMA indiscretion.

Barack Obama vs Lady Gaga
At the Human Rights Campaign Dinner this October, some dude called Barack Obama got to open for popular music superstar Lady GaGa. Which would be relatively cool, for a non-leader-of-the-free-world kind of guy, but for Obama, you know this has got to sting a little bit.

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So get ready to rumble! That is what they say before fights! You should probably go play Celebrity Kung-Fu!

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