There are lots of things in the world that Max Silvestri does not understand. Or maybe he just doesn’t pay attention. Each week in this column, Max tries to figure a new mystery out by reading the work of the greatest democracy on Earth, Internet commenters.

“Wait, what? What spacecraft? We can go to space now?” That is what I said to Atom Blog Editor Andrew Ti when he told me about Virgin Atlantic’s new commercial spaceship, ingenuously called SpaceShipTwo. What a clever name! There are no spaces in the name because the ship removes the space from your head by building a ship around it. Right? I’m right. I should be an astronaut I am so smart and also athletic.

For this column I usually have a vague idea of what’s going on, but in this case I didn’t have the foggiest. I’m honestly baffled that we, and when I say “we”, I mean very rich people who are nothing like us, can now pay for a trip to space. “Space Thanksgiving is the worst space travel day of the space year!!” That is what everyone will be saying in, I predict, two months. I am Spacetradamus over here.

Here’s what’s happening: Virgin Atlantic now has a company called Virgin Galactic. The name change is because this company’s crafts will traverse galaxies instead of traversing the Atlantic. (That is not true, but maybe it will be someday.) It only costs you, a regular person, $200,000. That is nothing! I have seen very crappy houses, houses I would not want to live in, that cost more than that. (I don’t own any houses, much less nice ones, but that is beside the point.) And you go to the suburbs and it seems everybody who can afford to own two collared shirts has a house. “Houses for sale, come and get your cheap houses!” That’s what a ragamuffin with holes in his shoes yells on the corner, and he has an apple bucket filled with houses. Do you know what I mean? It’s OK if you don’t because even I’m not sure what I’m referencing here. Newsies? No. It’ll come to me.

I guess my point is that a lot of people own houses, but very few people have been to space, so I think the choice is pretty clear cut. Go to space! Pack your bag and get going to space. Even if you come back homeless, you will be the most interesting homeless person ever. Well, second most interesting, after Joe Pesci in With Honors. The housing market is still crap, so owning a home isn’t the investment it once was. But if you go to space, then are homeless, think of all the TV shows that will want to buy your story. You will be rolling in it! (Or floating in it, as they (will) say in space.)

Of course, these are just things I thought in my brain. What do other regular people like you or me think about going to booking their place in space?

Dude! Did you not read anything I said? (I guess you didn’t as this is from the past.) Space is for homeless people i.e. especially people who take the bus. You are so close to being in space you are practically eating hard ice cream from a tube right now. Taste it? Yeah.

This guy is right! The movie 2012 really does sum stuff up and is very close to reality. I think what he’s trying to say that in the future, if you are Woody Harrelson, you are going to die. No one can disagree with that.

Snow globes are full of dreams and whimsy so this sounds great. Book ‘em, Dan-o! (Dan-o is the guy who books the spacetickets.)

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