There are lots of things in the world that Max Silvestri does not understand. Or maybe he just doesn’t pay attention. Each week in this column, Max tries to figure a new mystery out by reading the work of the greatest democracy on Earth, Internet commenters.

I thought Senators were really lazy. Isn’t that a thing? I am almost sure it is. They work ten weeks a year and spend the rest of the time drinking expensive Scotch bought for them by lobbyists and getting their aides to “handle” mistresses. It is very similar to what goes in the House, except in the House everyone is gay but is constantly telling people not to be gay. Am I totally off on Congress? Maybe. Either way, it is very surprising that the Senate got its act together enough to meet on Christmas Eve to cast the final vote on healthcare reform.

And at 8 a.m. no less! You’d think Senators would be as smart as college sophomores and know not to ever schedule a vote before 10 a.m. You’d think. But hey, I bet everyone is applauding these Senators for bringing this gigantic piece of legislation to a vote so close to their vacations and the new year, and that we can all agree that some kind of health care reform is really great and important, because the idea that Congress could kill this bill and then agree to another one some time in the future is literally a fantasy. Right? I bet. I wonder what will happen during this last minute vote. Let’s see what the commenters on Hot Air, a blog run by the human being Michelle Malkin, have to say.

What a Christmas vote it’s going to be! Obama, now a soldier in the Russian army, will I guess be spending his quanzaa fighting the Chechnyans, who have set Washington DC on fire. But the question isn’t “what is quanzaa,” it’s WHEN is quanzaa. (On Christmas Day, apparently. What a coincidence!) Thanks Hot Air commenters!

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