There are lots of things in the world that Max Silvestri does not understand. Or maybe he just doesn’t pay attention. Each week in this column, Max tries to figure a new mystery out by reading the work of the greatest democracy on Earth, Internet commenters.

I do not understand all this talk about Team Conan and Team Jay! (Let’s be honest, mostly talk about Team Conan. The Team Jay talk is probably more shaking-fist-at-confounded-moon-picture-box-while-farting-and-waiting-for-meals-to-be-delivered than talk, but still.) I mean, I understand why people are talking about the future of a venerable broadcasting institution. That’s not my problem. My problem is why no one is talking about where Lopez Tonight fits into this.

Lopez Tonight is, doy, George Lopez’s 11pm talk show over on TBS. And he’s white hot right now! He had a crazy interview with Jennifer Love Hewitt where she talked about jewelry on her clown box! And frankly that’s nothing. Right now he’s running a poll to see who is audience thinks is more black (aka sub-Saharan African), Charles Barkley or Snoop Dogg, then the winner (I think the winner? I am uncomfortable even writing about this, so who knows) will be revealed after a real DNA test. Huh?

Oh man, what is going on here. Seriously. This is exactly NOT the sort of thing that should be left up to the Internet. I mean, hopefully the above post on Lopez Tonight’s website doesn’t allow comments, right? Wrong.

Oh boy.

No offense taken! It is easy to mistake this for a poll asking which picture is blacker and whiter.

I couldn’t possibly. YOU can have that one.

Helen, I feel like maybe you aren’t being objective here?

This comment takes my thunder away.

Good answer, Anonymous! I guess being more black is all about the element of surprise? Yikes!

Tune into Lopez Tonight every night until the world ends to find the answer.

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