There are lots of things in the world that Max Silvestri does not understand. Or maybe he just doesn’t pay attention. Each week in this column, Max tries to figure a new mystery out by reading the work of the greatest democracy on Earth, Internet commenters.

Finally, the Apple tablet computer/giant iPhone thing is here: the iPad. Good name! Super good name. I think all of the Internet agrees how strong that name is. “Beyond reproach” is absolutely something I’ve heard a lot of experts throw around.

Apparently, lots of people are saying Mad TV predicted the iPAD with a sketch a few years ago about a feminine care product that goes in your (not my) feminine area and also has Bluetooth and headphones and other hacky jokes. Does this mean MadTV now owns Apple, because they beat them at their own game? I am assuming we all use Mighty Ducks 2 rules, wherein the Junior Varsity team switches places with the Varsity team if they beat them. Also, in case you didn’t know, MadTV is just like the computer company Apple, only not quite as good at making computers and peripherals.

I am a little confused about the iPad. It looks like a giant iPhone, and it has no camera, and will probably break easily. The videos on Apple’s website seem to indicate it’s a 500 dollar machine for watching Star Trek or Up, but nothing else. Let’s have commenters explain it to me…

It’s weird Apple didn’t go with the name HUGEIPHONE. Very eloquent.

The nice thing about the iPad are its edges and tactile resistance, making for easy grabbability, especially at THE airports.

Where does this guy works? I think what he’s saying is he’ll really be able to experience shitting with this new device.

Hahahah men take steroids when they shed their uterine lining. NO DOY DURR DUH.

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