There are lots of things in the world that Max Silvestri does not understand. Or maybe he just doesn’t pay attention. Each week in this column, Max tries to figure a new mystery out by reading the work of the greatest democracy on Earth, Internet commenters.

This Sunday is of course the biggest day of the year for sports fans, snack fans, party fans, commercial critics, advertising agencies, and guys who own t-shirt stores. It is Super Bowl 44, the Colts facing off against the New Orleans Saints in Miami, which is also where a CSI television program is set. That should give us hope that if anyone is found murdered during the game, the police force will have a very good chance of catching the criminals using forensics. It is also extra special because the Who are playing the half-time show, and as we all know the Who do the theme song for CSI. Now I kind of hope somebody gets murdered? Here’s an image I made:

So yeah, I know a lot about snacks, CSI, and the Who, but very little about the two teams playing. On the one hand, the Colts have Eli Manning, who was is good at football and very charismatic in DirecTV commercials or whatever. He’s got a strong looking head, like he was born at the bottom of a a mine shaft then dug his own way out as a baby or something. But on the other hand we’ve got the Saints. They are America’s team this year! Because of Katrina. They are also clearly Val Kilmer’s team, who was the King of last year’s Mardi Gras parade.

Which squad will win the match?! Is there any way to accurately predict the outcome? Yes. The Internet. I went to the home of the most neutral and objective sports analysis on the Internet: WhoDatZone.com. Let’s see what their computers predicted!

There you have it. No need to watch on Sunday now.

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