This probably doesn’t need saying again ever, and let me pre-emptively say that I disagree with the amount that the world is unfair, but it’s also clear that Hot Girls are able to do things that Regular People can not. I know, totally bogus.

So today, when Erica and Susan, the creators of the amazing video 2 Girls 1 Cop, came to Atom asking if we could help them spread the word on how they can help the Hot Girl community avoid traffic tickets, the answer was, of course, a resounding “Yes!” It may have actually been a slightly too loud “Yes!” delivered way too eagerly, about an octave above our normal speaking voice, as we frantically brushed chip crumbs out of our hair and our glasses fogged up just a touch.

No biggie, we’re pros.

So, as our service to all those Hot Girls out there who are taking the time and care to follow traffic laws, clear those worries from your pretty (seriously, so pretty) heads and follow these words of advice from Erica and Susan (pictured here for, uh, informational reasons).

10. COLD AS ICE

E+S: When wearing a white t-shirt, turn on the air conditioning. Instead of focusing on your broken taillight, Officer Donut Crème will be sucked in by your glaring headlights.

9. SEARCH AND DESTROY

E+S: …his will. Conveniently have your wallet out of reach. Conveniently be wearing a sun dress with no underwear. Conveniently have baked goods.

8. KNOCKED UP KNOCKOUT

E+S: “Sorry officer, I’m pregnant. I know, hard to believe. But I’m just really skinny.” (And lose the top button.)

7. BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS

E+S: Somebody is dying. We don’t care if it’s Petunia the pug, your twin brother, or your avatar. Just make sure that Officer Tough Nuts will feel responsible for denying you last goodbyes to Tony the parakeet.

6. BLOOD ON THE SEAT

E+S: Ketchup packets. “Sorry officer, I literally just had my period. I leaned over to grab a super plus and just missed the stop sign.” Trust us, he will run like Adrian Peterson… his rookie year.

Aaaaaaand alright, before we get to the rest of the list, let’s take a short video break.

5. BYOB

E+S: Bring your own boobs. Make sure you keep a push-up on you at all times, even if it’s in the glove compartment. Slap that bitch on while he’s sauntering up to your window, and let the puppies out to play.

4. HEARTBREAK HO

E+S: “I wasn’t drinking. The reason I was weaving is that I’m coming off a breakup and it’s emotional. I’m drunk with despair.” (And lose the shirt)

3. DIRTY HARRIET

E+S: You got lost/angry/tired on the way to the mud wrestling/stripping/sex worker convention.

2. FOREIGN HOTTIE

E+S: Remember Shannon Elizabeth in “American Pie”? Exactly. “Ciao, Je no se pas drive el car.” Girl + hot foreign accent = acceptable misunderstanding of traffic laws.

1. THE CRYING GAME

E+S: Search and seizure. You find anything you can grab at to get the tears flowing. Whether you remember how your stepfather said he didn’t love you, or you see an old burger wrapper marinated in onion residue, make it rain. (And be naked).

All right Hot Girls, print these out, forward them to all your friends, and next time you get pulled over, and remember, never say Atom never did anything for you (we’d do anything for you, please call us). For everyone else, make sure to watch 2 Girls 1 Cop, like, a million times.

Do we have to tell you that you should always obey traffic laws and Erica and Susan are comedians? We do? Fine, here it is, these are jokes.

Got something we should feature on the blog? Send a link to tips@atom.com.