Atom Blog Finally, Comedy Online

I’m sure all of you were huddled around your computers at work, speculating on when it would be ok to make jokes about the appropriately named boy, Falcon Heene, who was allegedly floating above the Denver landscape in a hilariously strange homemade balloon yesterday. Certainly we at atom were (though we all know Falcon isn’t the first hilarious balloon boy). While productivity in offices across the country slowed to a halt (what economy?), the true champions of internet culture were feverishly compiling mashups, videos, and 140 character gems of insensitivity to keep us entertained for the remaining 15 minutes of this news cycle. In case you were wondering, when the internet looses its shit, its shame is close to follow. Everyone was glad to find that  Falcon is ok, but it didn’t really stop people from cracking jokes well before we knew that.

Team. If you’re here for the live chat, we just finished up! We’ll be posting a selection from the chat as soon as we can get it together. In the meantime, here’re all your tweets to the cast and the finale:

Make sure to check out the entire series at the official Legend Of Neil Channel!

We’re knee deep in pre-production, and sure that you’re all going to really dig the end result… but we need your help!

YOUR MISSION:

In writing the Galaxy News script, we decided that we want the crawl at the bottom of the newscast to be five minutes of original, never repeating Star Wars news stories and one-liners.

Post ideas as comments below before it’s too late.

Matt and I have been having a running conversation that to “grow the community” we should start “engaging the users” and figuring out which of you guys are the ones who are most into what we do here at Atom. Sorry (sort of) for all the internet market-y vocab, but, you know, we got to pay the bills. Anyway, sometimes it seems like a bit of a daunting task, what will all our other jobs keeping this place running, and sometimes I’ll get an IM from Matt that just says “this is my favorite commenter ever.”

Step forward Ultrapower5000.

This guy is basically the best commenter I’ve ever seen. Besides consistently giving a thumbs down to almost everything we put out (way to dodge that thumbs-down bullet, Chick Drinks and 00Bama episode 3), he’s left what can only be described as some real gems. What’s that? Which ones are our favorites?

Check this shit out:

Here’s what he had to say about Where Does Chocolate Milk Come From

Where Does Chocolate Milk Come From?

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Animation | Just Bizarre

Mankind’s innovative spirit is arguably its greatest asset. Undaunted by naysayers and supposed impossibilities, we have carried ideas from their simplest incarnation to the indispensable tools they’ve become. Just imagine where we’d be if humanity mocked the first kite?

Or the first heart transplant?

Or primitive birth control?

That’s why we must always celebrate our pioneering spirit, even when it is as stupefying as the inventions that follow.

We’ve been having a running discussion in the offices these days about how every time a “viral video” appears on TV, it’s always in the context of a nut shot video getting “One million views, and it’s only been posted on RedactedTube ten minutes ago!”

I think people forget that, while we all love nut shot videos, one of the joys of weird viral videos is ordinary people taking what they have handy (in this case a luchador mask you got on vacation to Tijuana, a charismatic friend, probably tons of beers) and creating something for everyone’s enjoyment. Take, for instance Dale the Bounty Hunter, from user eraklese.

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Atom.com: Funny Videos | Other | Funny Animations

What I love so much about this video is this great spirit of “Fuck It, Let’s Do This” that really permeates the whole thing, and that everyone seems to be having fun. That, and the fact that they taped the arms of his glasses to the ears of the mask.

Guys, let me be real here. I love Twitter. How else can I make fun of little kids or get into one-sided flame wars with my mom? But fine, I get it, mostly Twitter is just a downward spiral of just how illiterate you can be and still kind of communicate, but still, when it Twitter hits, it kind of rules.

The genre has kind of come into its own with some amazing fake accounts (full disclosure, I am not immune to the allure of the fake Twitter), and because I’m in a sharing mood (and because the guys who make MegaBot reminded me of it by tweeting as a giant robot) here’re some of my fake Twitter favorites.

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The Notorious B.I.G.
This account is approached as if Biggie were still alive today, though still caught up in his early 90s ways, juxtaposed against his interactions with the current incarnations of his old Bad Boy Crew (Diddy, Lil’ Kim, I’m looking at your asses).

Recently:
   4:05 PM Sep 28th – avoiding ma$e’s calls
   10:26 AM Sep 15th – fuck my wealth manager. how you gonna tell me gateway stock aint makin shit?
   11:36 PM Sep 13th – yo, this lil mama like the scrappy doo of the VMAs.

You all well know by now that the Operation Olivia winner has been announced. While some of you are congratulatory, and relatively content with the announcement, others… are not. I don’t blame you for being upset or disappointed.

HOWEVER, some of you are being really hilarious babies about it, and I think it’s worth bringing up. The range of negative opinions spreads from curt…

…to outright belligerent.

If you’re a man’s man, but aren’t interested in a wiener measuring contest with the beer chugging meathead at the end of the bar then come, take a walk on the softer side of binge drinking. There’s no shame in sipping on a delicious cocktail, whether it’s pink, topped with whipped cream, or ends with “-tini”.

To help with this list, we got the star of the new Atom Original Chick Drinks (creator of White People Problems and alcohol aficionado) Zach Selwyn to provide a masculine counterpoint.

10. Michelob Ultra

Says “I care about burning calories, but I still like to party.” The Ultra-ultra-chick magnet, Michelob Ultra can be the perfect accessory to the health conscious stud. It hardly tastes like anything, let alone beer, so it’s the perfect alternative to the carb-loaded big brother- the pint. Maybe you can set up a gym date with the toned girl in the corner, sipping on a vodka and soda.

Counterpoint:

Michelob Ultra – Hey, if you want to drink watered down beer, get Miller Lite or Natty Lite – both are awesome, and you can drink 25 of them. Ultra was a fad, but it has a bad aftertaste. Still, acceptable for me, because at least its BEER, but if you tailgate at a football game Michelob Ultra, you’ll quickly be given a bad nickname like “Sparkles McWears-a-Thong.”

Facebook has had quite an evolution. As its name reveals, it was once a beacon for stalking tracking familiar faces. It worked best as a professional networking utility with a specific focus on detailing the lies about your success that you’d normally have to deliver in person at class reunions.

Yeah, I’m talking to you Jenny Langenfeld