And here’s a Halloween post, just for the ladies (LADIEEEEEZZZZ!). Ladies, you know how you’re always trying to get in relationships with vampires? You’re all like, “I’m a girl, and I’m all about sexy vampire brooding hair and flashy clothes and being young forever and whatnot.”

You kind of have to imagine that last part in a real girly voice.

Matt and I were talking about this (after we talked about football and how much we love beers and driving seriously fast) and we came to the conclusion that vampires are pretty much the most bullshit possible monster boyfriend. I mean, if you’re open to a murdering, possibly not human, possibly not alive boyfriend, you should really look a little deeper at what the rest of the supernatural world has to offer.

And thus, the Monster Boyfriends list was born.

—–

1. A Ghost (Matt)

I know what you’re thinking, “ghosts don’t have a physical presence in this world, how could they ever be better than a sexy, mousse haired vampire heart-throb?”
But consider this: if your boyfriend were to become a ghost for some unknown reason, they’d be forced to haunt you for all eternity. The very reason they exist is because of you. Sure, they’ll be a spectral, semi-transparent apparition of their former self, but you can’t beat the sort of commitment being haunted brings.
On the down side, they may cause interference on the tv, so plan on upgrading to cable. But on the up side, above all, they’re emotionally available.

Halloween costume choices follow pretty standard trajectories. If one doesn’t opt for the traditional spooky fare, it’s either a play on a pop culture icon or an attempt to sex-up something mundane:

Sexy Rainbow Trout, anyone?