Sexy Rainbow Trout, anyone?

By my calculations this means the most popular costume this year should be Sexy Zombie Balloon-Boy. Unfortunately that composition is likely to intimidate even seasoned costume designers, so I’ve compiled a list of what the internet has determined will be the most popular costumes this year…at least for the girls who don’t want to be Miley Cyrus:

Miley touring in support of her new album “Your Love (Is Like Grinding On A Metal Shaft)”

1. Kanye West
Kanye has always been known for bringing street cred to bipolar disorder, but this year his antics managed to outshine his three previous outbursts. That’s really saying something.

It’s a simple enough costume to put together and it’s guaranteed to make for the BEST snapshots:

2. Kate Plus 8
It’s been a tumultuous year for America’s TLC’s favorite family. Charges of exploitation and infidelity have shaken the Gosselin family to the point that even the future of their television circus is uncertain. Without the show we will be left to blindly speculate on how traumatized their children will be instead of having the evidence delivered to us weekly. It’s tragic, really.

There are no good costume templates for this, so my suggestion is to buy an old Sonic the Hedgehog outfit and bleach the tips. The accessories will do the rest of the heavy lifting:

Kate’s organizational skills will be needed to balance so many therapy appointments

3. Obama
Without fail, the President of the United States Of America is a richly mined subject for Halloween costumes and Obama is certain to be no different. It’s also a golden opportunity for all the white people who feel robbed that performing in Blackface went out with the 1950s.

Anyone else think this resembles a photo negative of old Richard Nixon masks? Eerie…

Satire is key with this costume selection. Make sure the P.U.S.A. is at least carrying a Nobel Peace Prize if not an Emmy, Oscar or any other formally undeserved awards. Anything referencing communism is likewise suitable, though you may wish to refrain from carrying an actual hammer and sickle. It would be a shame to have your satire confused with a genre collision of “Bludgeoning & Slashing Obama”.

If your liberal sensibilities don’t embrace this, I’ve got you covered. Glenn Beck is a perfectly antithetical choice with room for satire as well. For example, I’ve obscured his face in a KKK hood, but he’s still readily recognizable by the mascara-thickened man tears soaking through his cloak during a trademarked patriotic jag:

“I just love my country so much…like MORE than a friend, y’know?”

4. Kim Kardashian
This one is pretty self-explanatory, really.

Sure, it’s creepy. But anything’s better than looking at “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”.