Mankind’s innovative spirit is arguably its greatest asset. Undaunted by naysayers and supposed impossibilities, we have carried ideas from their simplest incarnation to the indispensable tools they’ve become. Just imagine where we’d be if humanity mocked the first kite?

Or the first heart transplant?

Or primitive birth control?

That’s why we must always celebrate our pioneering spirit, even when it is as stupefying as the inventions that follow.

Volume 1 here

My interest in these games isn’t simply part of my well documented love of the perverse.  I see these for what they truly are – warning signs.

When you catch a child tormenting animals or repeating lyrics from a Jonas Brothers song, you are rightfully terrified.  Time and again serial muderers later demonstrated these juvenile behaviors might further devolve.  You know you’re responsible to be vigilant of them or at least drug them into a well-behaved stupor.  Now imagine that child is actually 127 million Japanese people.

If you were going to shit your pants in abject terror, this would be the time to do it.

When a society promotes an arcade game that simulates playful sodomy, they are sending an important message that you ignore at your own peril.  Here’s 4 more warnings to carefully heed.

Muscle March

This game actually has a premise, but I’d prefer to let the crazy flow freely over you before explaining it:

A couple of weeks back I took an interest in writing about bizarre Japanese video games.  They are the perfect fodder for blogging.  Their manic imagery naturally inspires pithy commentary and they provide ample latitude to indulge my racism.   However, rather than just taking swipes at cheap jokes, I also saw an opportunity to tackle the subject more academically.

I approached numerous experts in Japanese culture, seeking a rosetta stone that would contextualize the madness that passed for entertainment.  I compiled the results of their survey responses and interview comments for brevity’s sake:

I think that pretty much sums it up.