Remember when people thought it was funny to make online countdowns to the Olsen twins 18th birthday? That was pretty long ago, and prett gross ago. Now they look like weird, anorexic gypsies we make fun of.  See how that works (gross).

I suppose if my entire identity (and media empire) was defined by being twins with my super twiggy, crazy eyed sister, I’d probably need some space too (regaurdless of how equally crazy I am).

Anyway, if you’re looking for a new, hilarious web show that lampoons your favorite twin-moguls, you got it dude.

Hit the jump for this excellent video…

Very Mary-Kate, Episode 1 from Mary-Kate Olsen on Vimeo.

via NewTeeVee Station

Nazis fleeing criminal persecution settled all around Brazil, including the area of Condido Godoi, decades ago. Because hey, if you have to flee the ghosts of unconscionable genocide, you might as well flee to someplace warm, and famous for the roundness of their asses. So the population of some regions, like Condido Godoi, is largely Germanic in appearance. They’re blond-haired, they’re blue-eyed, and as you can see from the data, about half of them are completely indistinguishable from one another.

There’s nothing in the water (that was the locals’ theory,) and it has nothing to do with inbreeding, (that was the geneticists’ theory,) but it’s inarguable: Something strange is going on with the children there. Residents of the area insist that the Angel of Death, one of Mengele’s charming nicknames, was travelling their countryside in the mid 1960s posing as a veterinarian, a doctor from another town, a volunteer aid worker, and a slew of other identities, and he spent a large chunk of his time with the local women. With a face like Josef’s up there – resembling something halfway between a gopher and Gollum – you know it probably wasn’t anything sexual.

Mengele was particularly obsessed with twins during his career in the Third Reich, and some of his most sinister experiments in the death camps focused around this obsession. And, though there’s certainly no hard evidence to prove it, most of the residents of Condido Godoi do believe that Mengele had something to do with the insanely high birth rate of these freaks of nature. Sexy freaks, maybe, but twins are still freaks in the strictest sense of the word.

Considering that the twins are predominantly blond-haired, blue-eyed, Aryan cookie cutter people, and that they began appearing in the mid 1960s – the same time that a twin-obsessed mad scientist was touring the area posing as a veterinarian who’s suspiciously interested in pregnant women instead of sickly horses – well, it’s not entirely out of the question that right now, as you read this, there is a small village in Brazil whose residents have been engineered by the Angel of Death… though it’s unlikely they’re going to adopt that as their town motto anytime soon.

So, when the inevitable Nazi Clone Armies arise and trample over the earth, their bloodthirsty pursuit of power resurrected, don’t be surprised if this time around they’re nicely tanned, wearing thongs, and generally just much more festive about this whole genocide thing.

Read more from Robert at his own site, I Fight Robots, but for Christ’s sake, hurry! When Nazi Carnivale arrives, there will be no time for idle entertainment – only G-strings and death. So much death…