Meet Jamie Black, budding internet celebrity, bathtub enthusiast and guru. So Jamie’s thing is that he gives advice in the bathtub. Fair enough. I’ve had some pretty deep thoughts while bathing (haven’t we all?) and perhaps, if a recording device were present, I may even think it was a good idea to espouse some of those ideas online. I’m not here to pass judgment about the state of mind one would need to be in in order to consider this sort of thing as a good idea…

So the more attentive of you may have noticed that Atom is finally hooked up to Facebook Connect, the technology that lets you log in to sites using your Facebook account, and share stuff from those sites on your Facebook profile. This post, unfortunately, is not really for you, because if you’re attentive enough to notice that, then you’ve probably already set up your Atom profile.

This one’s for everyone else.

With Facebook Connect, you can use your Facebook profile to log in to Atom, to leave ratings for all of our videos, games and blog posts, and to comment anywhere we let you. That’s right, if you’re too lazy to create an Atom account, but you still have some kind of wise-ass comment or want to give something a thumbs down, just look for the Facebook logo, click it, and follow a couple short instructions, and hate away.

So, to sum up, you find yourself on a video at Atom:

1. You want to rate or comment.
2. You don’t have an Atom profile.
3. Just click on the Facebook Connect icons where you see them, follow the instructions and you’ll be logged in to Atom.
or
4. Hate away, jerks. Or not. I just know you’re too savvy to fall for flattery.

And don’t worry, this won’t post anything to your Facebook feed that you don’t want it to and it won’t spam your friends. We just want to make it as easy as possible for you guys to interact with each other, with the video and game creators, and with us. Oh, and we’re wildly entertained when you guys talk smack, as well.

Andrew (2:01:21 PM): dude, the halloween party starts in, like, 10 minutes

Matt (2:01:44 PM): It started two hours ago (for me)

Matt (2:01:50 PM): Seriously

Andrew (2:01:54 PM): fuck

Andrew (2:02:02 PM): did you do the You People post yet?

Matt (2:02:06 PM): …

Andrew (2:02:20 PM): right

Matt (2:02:43 PM): brb

Matt (2:02:46 PM): (beer)

Andrew (2:02:58 PM): did Intern Alex send the submissions scan?

Matt (2:03:34 PM): YES

Matt (2:03:39 PM): and they’re actually funny

Andrew (2:03:54 PM): can we just embed some of the best ones?

On one hand, the bar for weird dancing on the internet is really high. It’s crowded with little kids, people making fun of Beyonce, prisoners, white people in general, whatever. It’s a tough market.

On the other hand, usually weird dancing videos tend not to feature people who regularly rockets several tons of metal and explosive fuel through the air. Hey guys, it’s the Dancing Captain!

Pretty strong right? When this got passed around the Atom office today, we were delighted (DELIGHTED) to learn that this guy is not just some weird dude with a boombox, a motorcycle, a pilot’s costume and at least one friend, but what appears to be a real live, honest to god, got the keys to the whip, as long as that whip is a FUCKING JUMBO JET, pilot. Check out the Dancing Captain’s profile picture here.

As an added treat, make sure to look at his paintings. Amazing.

As Matt put it: “That island beauty sure loves that naked pilot.”

Matt and I have been having a running conversation that to “grow the community” we should start “engaging the users” and figuring out which of you guys are the ones who are most into what we do here at Atom. Sorry (sort of) for all the internet market-y vocab, but, you know, we got to pay the bills. Anyway, sometimes it seems like a bit of a daunting task, what will all our other jobs keeping this place running, and sometimes I’ll get an IM from Matt that just says “this is my favorite commenter ever.”

Step forward Ultrapower5000.

This guy is basically the best commenter I’ve ever seen. Besides consistently giving a thumbs down to almost everything we put out (way to dodge that thumbs-down bullet, Chick Drinks and 00Bama episode 3), he’s left what can only be described as some real gems. What’s that? Which ones are our favorites?

Check this shit out:

Here’s what he had to say about Where Does Chocolate Milk Come From

We’ve been having a running discussion in the offices these days about how every time a “viral video” appears on TV, it’s always in the context of a nut shot video getting “One million views, and it’s only been posted on RedactedTube ten minutes ago!”

I think people forget that, while we all love nut shot videos, one of the joys of weird viral videos is ordinary people taking what they have handy (in this case a luchador mask you got on vacation to Tijuana, a charismatic friend, probably tons of beers) and creating something for everyone’s enjoyment. Take, for instance Dale the Bounty Hunter, from user eraklese.

What I love so much about this video is this great spirit of “Fuck It, Let’s Do This” that really permeates the whole thing, and that everyone seems to be having fun. That, and the fact that they taped the arms of his glasses to the ears of the mask.

You all well know by now that the Operation Olivia winner has been announced. While some of you are congratulatory, and relatively content with the announcement, others… are not. I don’t blame you for being upset or disappointed.

HOWEVER, some of you are being really hilarious babies about it, and I think it’s worth bringing up. The range of negative opinions spreads from curt…

…to outright belligerent.

Oh you people, with your intensely graphic, violent, animations about cartoon characters murdering dictators… Why is it that the weirdest clips we get are all animated?

As best as I can tell, this is what is “supposed” to be the narrative of this video: Osama, Adolf, and Leatherface are having a sleepover, and they’re up past their bed time playing video games and shit get’s crazy. And then Mario shoots everyone.

Someone once told me that there’s something special about being effortlessly weird. While there’s definitely something self conscious about this clip, it somehow manages to overcome that aspect of itself to become something I’d call “truly out there”. Is this parody? Is there a message? Perhaps meangreen3 is the product of the same violent media he preaches against? And still, the circle continues.

We get all kinds of stuff submitted here at atom.com. I get it, and by now, I should start getting used to it. But sometimes, even when you guys are nice enough to label something as a “surreal animation,” my capacity to still be freaked the fuck out is still pushed to the limit.

Case in point, this submission from our friend animalmother16:

Machines. Charming.

Ok, seriously, what the hell is this? And why is it freaking me out so much? (And listen, I’m no wuss, I went to Goth Night last night). Does this have some other kind of meaning, or did someone just get David Lynch an Etch-a-Sketch?

Someone explain this to me, I’m going to just be crying here at my keyboard.

Everyone. Check this out for a second. It’ll take less than a minute, and let’s be real, you’re here, so you’ve already clicked one dildo link for the day. Be warned that this is probably slightly NSFW. Certainly the language is a little strong, and your bosses take on comically huge dongs might be less liberal than ours.